Repentance is hard on me. It's probably hard on you as well. I don't like admitting that my heart is wicked. I don't like confessing that I sinned at a specific point in time in a specific thought or deed. I don't like coming to terms with who I am. Repentance has to be rooted properly, however. Because in the grand scheme of things (and in the little scheme of things), repentance isn't actually about me. Deep breath. It isn't actually about me. Okay, let's say it one more time, just to make sure we (I) really get it. It isn't actually about it. It's about God. The triune God who has revealed himself to humanity when he could have just left us here to die in our sins. It's about confessing that we as humanity, and I individually, in a very specific moment in time, have fallen short of his glory. It's confessing that what he has said about us is true. We fall short (Rom. 6:23). It's confessing that his glory and his standard is far higher than what I can reach (though I'm required to). It's about Jesus, in confessing that he is my only righteousness before the Father. That I can't pay for that sin (or my sin nature), and that I cannot live a perfect life. Jesus has done it. He has payed for that sin and my sin nature. He has lived a perfect life in my place. Hallelujah for the work of Jesus! Praise the Father that he does not deal with my according to my work, but according to the work of the Son. It's about him. It involves me, but it isn't about me.
I. Declared Righteous Apart From My Own Works
Because I am declared righteous before the Father based upon the work of Jesus in his death and life, I am able to look into the depths o my heart, deal with sin, recognize the root, and deal with it appropriately. My justification, and thus favor, before the Father based on Jesus, give me the necessary freedom to see, and then deal with the absolute wickedness that is my heart.
II.Treasuring Christ by Meditating Upon his Gospel
When I sin, I recognize that I am (1) ungrateful to God, and (2) not treasuring Christ, but rather sin. (Blows my mind that hearts treasure sin rather than Christ. Yet, that is what my very own heart does all the time).
The deepest issue here is that I don't get the gospel.
If I truly understood that Jesus was born to this earth, lived a life of perfect obedience to the law that I am required to live but cannot, died in my place, taking my sin and the Father's wrath against that sin, rose, and ascended at the right hand of the Father where he is now interceding on my behalf... if I understood this in my mind and in my heart, I would overflow with gratefulness, and my heart would treasure Christ aboundingly as it should! A true understanding of the gospel allows me to genuinely repent of sin and sins.
John Owen has stated that, "Holiness is nothing but the imprinting, writing, and realizing of the gospel on our souls."
