The Purpose of the Law, the Wickedness of the Human Heart, and the Beauty of the Gospel of Jesus Christ

"Wherefore the work of Satan is, so to hold men that they come not to know their misery, but that they presume that they can do all things which are enjoined. But the work of Moses the legislator is the contrary, even that by the law he might discover to man his misery, in order that he might prepare him, thus bruised and confounded with the knowledge of himself, for grace, and might send him to Christ to be saved."

Martin Luther

An Anticlimactic Life and Becoming More Like My Savior

As the end of my senior year is quickly approaching... okay, still eight more months... but time flees quicker than I ever thought it would. I reflect, frequently actually, on my days freshly entering into college. My heart full of my future four long years down the road. I had my entire life planned out, so sure of what my life would look like. Things are quite different as I begin seeing the reality of the time I have dreamt of for so long. And it's intensely less anti-climactic than I had envisioned. Now let's stop and pause, that was not a comment at all intended to be the least bit depressing. Rather, it is a true view of reality... and a beautiful view, at that. While I certainly would not cry, in fact I would quite enjoy it, if the next few years of my life were to be another grand adventure. However, I'm quite content, quite overflowing, to continue living my quiet little life in sweet ole' Spokane, which somewhere along the way has stolen my heart.

Oh, rabbit trails... So here I am, realizing the vast emptiness of graduating college (Ecclesiastes, anyone?)... and I stop, and I feel slightly frightened, and I feel quite empty inside of myself, and the purposelessness that is life in general begins to pound away at my mind... and my stomach. And again, as I've blogged about before, I am reminded that my purpose in this life, now and until my Savior returns, will be to be formed more into the image of the Beloved Son of God. How very anticlimactic. What... anticlimactic? How very incredible. I will be formed more into the image of God in true righteousness and holiness (Eph. 4:24). And one day, I will be made perfect like him (1 John 3:2). That's my main goal in everything I do, to be formed more into the image of his Son. As I watch children, the goal of my Father is to form me more into Jesus' image. As I do school work, the goal is to form me more into the image of Jesus. As I have coffee with my friends, the goal is to form me more into the image of the Son. That's always, always, the goal. And I miss that almost every time. Things would look very different if I really grasped that. Again, Romans 8 reappears to the forefront of my mind, as it frequently does. It tells me (and every reader) this lovely truth, "And we know that for those love God  all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined  to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified." (Romans 8:28-30). This verse has much beauty and peace in it. It cannot be taken simply at the surface level of God working things for our good. It goes deeper, it goes to our Father forming us more into the image of his beloved Son in everything. And not only that, but it is clear that that is his very purpose, his highest goal in our lives. And in case there's any doubt in our minds, he has predestined us to be formed into the image of his Son. It isn't as if he one day realized that he could use the circumstances and the people in our lives to form us more into Christ's image. Rather, it's that from the beginning He had chosen us to be united to His Son, and to, in every circumstance, be formed more into his image.

This is the time of life when I arrive at the realization that this life will never satisfy me. I'll be satisfied when i graduate college and get the job of my dreams, right? Oh... guess not... but I'll be satisfied when my husband comes, won't I? Again...no.When I have children? When I do what all women are made for, then I'll be satisfied? No. You will be filled with joy, but never satisfied. Your heart, my heart, longs for the day when we see our Beloved Savior, and only at that point will we be satisfied. This is not our home, and here we can never be fully satisfied. So we must wait. But we can rest knowing that if we are in Christ we will be satisfied, one fine day.

So I won't be satisfied. So I feel empty. Oh, what a lovely post this is. It is, quite lovely, actually, as the Father is gently teaching his slow to learn child what His purpose is with me in this life. Through the blood of His Son, He has made me His own. Through the blood of His Son, He has declared me righteous. Through the blood of His Son, I am His child. And as His child, who is declared righteous, but is simultaneously still filthy with sin, His greatest desire for me is to become more like His perfect, spotless, Son. Alas, I'm learning that, and I will continue to be learning this throughout my entire life.

Does Peter Want Me to Stop Talking?

A quiet and gentle spirit, which in God's sight is very precious...

The words enter into my mind once again.

It's interesting how my thoughts on what the focus of this section of Scripture has shifted over time.

I used to look at this verse and be overcome with the question of whether or not physical beauty was something that a biblical woman should seek. Yet there is far more treasure to be found here. This verse speaks of something more comforting than any conclusion on physical beauty. Something that by the grace of God has been developing in my heart, and that absolutely needs to be developed further. And in the process, I remember that my God is sovereign, and that he uses all things to form me more into the image of his Son.

"Do not let your adorning be external-- the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." 1 Peter 3:3-6

Oh, how I fall short. How I fail to trust him- to rest in trusting him. And how I fail to rejoice in the fact that I can rest in trusting him. Thank God, my Father, that he has given his only Son to pay for my sin of distrust of the only trustworthy One.

This passage used to confuse me to no end. Quiet and gentle... what on earth does that mean? Does that mean I'm soft spoken and say very little? If so, I (and a lot of women I know) have fallen quite short of that. Does this mean that I need to change that about myself. If that's what this verse said, then I would submit to that, because it's the Word of God. However, I felt the need to understand at greater depth what this verse meant before I changed the way I interact with most people.

Gentle: "Meekness [or gentleness] towards God is that disposition of the spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting."

Quiet: "'tranquility arising from within,' causing no disturbance to others"

Thank you Vines and BlueLetterBible... you are much appreciated. (blueletterbible.org)

It goes so much deeper than I would have ever guessed. It comes down to trusting, to resting, in the sovereignty and the goodness of our Father.

"He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" Romans 8: 32

This is our basis for trusting our Father. This is his goodness. His entire being is for our good... his entire being! He didn't even spare his own Son! How could we not trust his goodness.

But what about his sovereignty?

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed into the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified." Romans 8:28-30

God's sovereignty- all things, he uses, for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. He foreknew us, he predestined us.

We see God's goodness overlapping here. All things work together for our good. Even the bad things, even the really bad things, even the horrible things, even the really, really, really horrible things, will be used for our good, to make us look more like the Son. No one else gets to say that; only the adopted children of God get to say, and are able to rest in the truth, that even the really really awful things will make us look more like the Son. And, people, (and by people, I mean- hey Taylor- listen up!) that is our goal!

Thus, he's given us all things needed to have a quiet and gentle spirit, that is, a spirit who is at rest with whatever he's given to us; a spirit that trusts that he is both sovereign and good in all his dealings with his children. This begins inside of you, in your spirit, but it overflows and shows itself as a woman at peace. And as a friend stated to me, woman are known as natural worriers. So isn't it lovely that God treasures a woman who isn't a worrier, and has given us a way to not be that woman. For what is the core of worrying, if not that we think someone or something is in control who is against us? That is not what the gospel says! God is so for his children that he gave his only Son. He is for those who are in Christ, he is trustworthy.

And to top it all of, this is a spirit that is very precious in the sight of God. He loves when woman have the spirit about them of deep trust in who he is, that is, sovereign and good. And we are to have this trust in all situations. For me, that means having this spirit about me as I wait for my husband and my children. For other woman, it means having this spirit as they wait for their husband to become a Christian (as this passage addresses), or their children to follow Jesus. It may mean having this spirit as a woman experiences a miscarriage (I can't even imagine). Or having this spirit as a young lady waits to hear if she's made it into her first choice of college. It looks like many different things for many different women. But the core of it is our sovereign Father, who did not even spare his own Son.

The gospel that wounds

"Avoid a sugared gospel as you would shun sugar of lead. Seek the gospel which rips up and tears and cuts and wounds and even kills, for that is the gospel that makes alive again. And when you have found it, give good heed to it. Let it enter into your inmost being as the rain soaks into the ground, so pray the Lord to let his gospel soak into your soul." C.H. Spurgeon

Spurgeon implies that there is the one true gospel and that are false gospels taught by false teachers. The false teachers speak of a sugared gospel- its the gospel Paul warned about in Galatians that seeks to work its way to right standing with God through circumcision or the law, or the gospel that Paul warned Timothy against, where false teachers tell their hearers what their itching ears want to hear. This is not the true gospel. The true gospel says that I cannot work my way to right standing with God. It is not what our ears want to hear.

We do not want to be told that our sinfulness is so boundless, so far-reaching, so rampant... that our hearts are so wicked, that we cannot make ourselves even the least bit right with God. We want to believe that we're good. The gospel tells us otherwise. And even those who have accepted the truth of the gospel as their joy must still be told that they cannot make themselves right with God. We want to believe that we can do good, and thus make the Father love us more, accept us more. We even go so far as to believe that if we sin, the Father is angry with us. Yet Jesus has drank the full wrath of the Father for us! The gospel tells us we can only rely upon what Jesus did.

The gospel tells us that we are so wicked that not only can we not make ourselves right with God, but that Jesus, the only obedient one, had to die in order to fix what we have done. The Father's wrath was rightfully upon us (and is still upon those who haven't trusted Jesus), but Jesus drank the full cup of the Father's wrath on behalf of humanity. This is yet another blow to our prideful egos.

Thus, the question of how the gospel tears us apart is easily understood in the context of Scripture. It shows us the depths of our sins. Something we never wanted to admit or even know about ourselves. It takes away all of our self-dependence and places everything in Jesus Christ, the lamb who was slain.

Yet the gospel repairs. It brings us to the lowest point we can come to, to a state of absolute hopelessness. And that's where the Father could have justly left us. Yet he didn't. The gospel then brings us to the light and the hope and the joy of Jesus Christ. We are shown that his life was lived in perfect obedience, fulfilling every bit of the law that we could not. He earned perfect obedience for us in his life. He died our death, drinking the full wrath of the Father. Thus, for those who are in Christ Jesus, there is no longer any wrath to drink. Not a drop. Jesus drank all of it. He was buried, and rose three days later. He ascended to the right hand of the Father where he is interceding for us.

The gospel shows us the depth of our sin, the sheer wickedness of our heart. The gospel brings us hope in Jesus, and Jesus only. And it does this not only for the person who just accepted Jesus but for every believer, the youngest and the oldest, for it is our very foundation. As of late, I have been praying that I realize the wickedness of my heart and the fullness of Jesus' salvation for me, for I know that I do not begin to understand it as I should. Like Spurgeon suggests, I'm asking the Lord that this gospel would soak deep into my soul as the rain does the ground.

No matter how many times I watch this, it still blows me away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs

Hesitant to share the only thing that matters... my justification remains

I want to be a person who is always on the lookout for opportunities to share the gospel. My life is worth nothing if it is not used to share the gospel. My justification is not changed. Not even for a split second, and God will receive glory from me regardless. Nonetheless, I am called to always have the gospel on my lips and speak it at all times. I had the opportunity today to share it with a stranger, yet I didn't. I don't want that to happen ever again. Never, ever again. God has those who belong to him. And my duty is to preach the gospel. He will use my stumbling words and nervous tone to draw to himself those who have belonged to him since the foundation of the world. Thus I must speak it.

Yet, in this I rest. That I have failed yet again. That I was disobedient, and once again showed that I am deserving of hell. Yet Jesus has paid for everything. There is no more wrath for me to drink. I get to drink the cup of God's salvation because Jesus drank the cup of wrath and earned for me the cup of salvation. My relationship with the Father is not hindered. And out of love, I am free to obey him.

I am frustrated with myself. But that produces growth. I have to remind myself of the truth of my justification. I can't allow my emotions to control how I view the truth. God says I am justified- I am justified no matter how I feel. I have to ask my Father to give me boldness to share the gospel. Paul in one of his letters asked the church to pray that he would have boldness as he ought to to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is a prayer request of mine, also.

Blessed is the man whose sins are not counted against him...

If you, O Lord, should mark iniquities,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with you, there is forgiveness,

That you may be feared.

Psalm 130: 3-4

I asked the Lord

I asked the Lord that I might grow

in faith, and love, and every grace;

Might more of His salvation know,

And seek, more earnestly, His face.

'Twas He who taught me thus to pray,

And He, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,

As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour,

Ar once He'd answer my request;

And by His love's constraining pow'r,

Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel

The hidden evils of my heart;

And let the angry pow'rs of hell

Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed

Intent to aggravate my woe;

Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,

Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,

Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?

'Tis in this way, the Lord repliedm

I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I employ,

From self, and pride, to set thee free;

And break thy schemes of earthly joy,

That thou may'st find thy all in Me.

I asked the Lord

Hymn written by John Newton

Ponderings...

As I attempt to do a wee bit of job searching for the fall of this year, I'm contemplating what it is I want to be. And, of course, if you know me at all, if you've had a conversation with me once, you know I want to be a wife and a mother. As I've probably mentioned in conversation, "My little heart desires to be a wife and a mother." And that's the truth.

I have to have some sort of career, and I don't know why I would desire anything other than that which the my Father has created me for. How the Lord has blessed me, and all women, to allow us to make that our careers. It's either that or working as a teller in a bank (or some other job, but you get the picture). And I know I would much rather be with children all day, and standing around the kitchen. Slightly stereotypical, yes? Extraordinarily exhausting? Oh, baby... I don't even begin to understand it. Worth it when I rock my sweet baby boy to sleep at night, or when my darling girl opens her Bible and I hear her say, "Daddy... why...", or when the families around us wonder how we are patient and loving to our children while still disciplining, and I get to tell the mom about the gospel and my Savior. Oh, you better believe it's worth it. My heart desires that. Why would I want another career. And if that be in America, so be it. And if it be in Germany, so be it. And if it be in some village in Africa, so be it. I can be a mother in all of these places, as I joyfully follow my husband.

But for now, I don't have a husband. And I surely do not have children. And I must pursue some other form of work. But I stop to think what my goals are, if being a wife and momma are not in my foreseeable future. And I realize all too quickly, for its never been a secret, that my goal right now is look more like Jesus and to pursue that with a fiery passion while keeping my eyes fixed steadily on the beauty of the gospel.

Oh, the thin lines we must decide to cross or not...

John 4:35...

"Do you not say, 'There are yet four months and then comes the harvest'? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest."...

"Even though many today will be wearing black, they're truly white (or ripe) for a harvest. We must begin to look in places where traditionally the church would never go, for the spread of the gospel." (Cole 76).

This is a hard one for me. I naturally fall into legalism. It's easier for me. It also feeds my pride.

Today I listened (for the second time through) to Driscoll's sermon "A People of Tension". Hit on the same idea. Such a hard balance between the two... between going to far into sin, or too far into legalism... which is also sin. It's frustrating. And it's so hard for me to humble myself into associating with 'those people.'

John 17:15-18... "I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world."

What did Jesus do. He didn't avoid any appearance of evil. You would have to not read Scripture to think that he avoided every appearance of evil. Bad translation, bad lack of studying what words really mean. Yada yada ya... We are to be in the world, not of the world. What does that practically mean.

And yet we must get the gospel to these people who are running, running, towards hell. Because God has his elect, and some of them are in the bar, and some of them are whores, and some of them are the most hateful people you will meet. But they are his, and the gospel must be preached to them.

And because Jesus passionately pursued these people, we, too, must passionately pursue them with the gospel. And we will fail, but Jesus is our perfect righteousness. We're free to fail.

The Sacrifice of the Son and the Father's Tender Affection

"Consider what the gospel says. It does not tell us what we have to do to please God. Instead, it announces that God is already pleased with us through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. God is as pleased with us as he is with his own Son. This liberates us from seeking the approval of others. At the same time, it frees us from striving for God's favor. We already have the tender affection of his eternal love. What more do we need? Nothing more, which is why the one true gospel is such amazing good news." Philip Ryken

People tend to have the mindset, no matter what culture you look at, that you must do something to please God. That's right, you must do it. I've heard it said that, "I'm not that bad. I think God will let me into heaven." Oh my soul, beware. Do not become self-righteous. God does not let sins slide. He does not weigh you good deeds and your bad deeds. Psalm 89:14 says "Righteousness and justice are your throne;". Sins must be paid for one way or another.

I find myself so often nonchalant about the gospel. About the gospel! About the fact that the Father's tender affection is upon me, when all I deserve is his wrath. And in the gospel should be my joy. Yet it's not. I should be entirely wrapped up in the gospel. And yet I'm not.

Yet... I need not make myself have joy in the gospel in order for the Father to fully accept me. Once again, it comes back to Jesus and his performance. Not mine. Because of Jesus, the Father accepts me. Fully and completely. He sees me as righteous. And my sanctification is learning to believe that. To fully and completely believe that. To fully and completely rest in the truth that regardless of where I put my joy, because I am in the Son, his tender affection is fully upon me.

And if we have the approval of God, the absolute, unconditional approval of God. Why would we need the approval of man? And again I realize that if I truly rested in the fact that I have absolute approval from God, I would not seek it from man. But every time, when in my sin, covered in pride, I find myself desperately seeking the approval of man, I am at that moment forgetting what Jesus has done, and that I am accepted by the one who can save or destroy my soul, and he chooses to save it, for I am in his Son. And I will forget. Over and over again. But the Spirit that dwells within me will teach me, as I ask him to make me look more like the standing that I already have with the Father.