An Anticlimactic Life and Becoming More Like My Savior

As the end of my senior year is quickly approaching... okay, still eight more months... but time flees quicker than I ever thought it would. I reflect, frequently actually, on my days freshly entering into college. My heart full of my future four long years down the road. I had my entire life planned out, so sure of what my life would look like. Things are quite different as I begin seeing the reality of the time I have dreamt of for so long. And it's intensely less anti-climactic than I had envisioned. Now let's stop and pause, that was not a comment at all intended to be the least bit depressing. Rather, it is a true view of reality... and a beautiful view, at that. While I certainly would not cry, in fact I would quite enjoy it, if the next few years of my life were to be another grand adventure. However, I'm quite content, quite overflowing, to continue living my quiet little life in sweet ole' Spokane, which somewhere along the way has stolen my heart.

Oh, rabbit trails... So here I am, realizing the vast emptiness of graduating college (Ecclesiastes, anyone?)... and I stop, and I feel slightly frightened, and I feel quite empty inside of myself, and the purposelessness that is life in general begins to pound away at my mind... and my stomach. And again, as I've blogged about before, I am reminded that my purpose in this life, now and until my Savior returns, will be to be formed more into the image of the Beloved Son of God. How very anticlimactic. What... anticlimactic? How very incredible. I will be formed more into the image of God in true righteousness and holiness (Eph. 4:24). And one day, I will be made perfect like him (1 John 3:2). That's my main goal in everything I do, to be formed more into the image of his Son. As I watch children, the goal of my Father is to form me more into Jesus' image. As I do school work, the goal is to form me more into the image of Jesus. As I have coffee with my friends, the goal is to form me more into the image of the Son. That's always, always, the goal. And I miss that almost every time. Things would look very different if I really grasped that. Again, Romans 8 reappears to the forefront of my mind, as it frequently does. It tells me (and every reader) this lovely truth, "And we know that for those love God  all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined  to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified." (Romans 8:28-30). This verse has much beauty and peace in it. It cannot be taken simply at the surface level of God working things for our good. It goes deeper, it goes to our Father forming us more into the image of his beloved Son in everything. And not only that, but it is clear that that is his very purpose, his highest goal in our lives. And in case there's any doubt in our minds, he has predestined us to be formed into the image of his Son. It isn't as if he one day realized that he could use the circumstances and the people in our lives to form us more into Christ's image. Rather, it's that from the beginning He had chosen us to be united to His Son, and to, in every circumstance, be formed more into his image.

This is the time of life when I arrive at the realization that this life will never satisfy me. I'll be satisfied when i graduate college and get the job of my dreams, right? Oh... guess not... but I'll be satisfied when my husband comes, won't I? Again...no.When I have children? When I do what all women are made for, then I'll be satisfied? No. You will be filled with joy, but never satisfied. Your heart, my heart, longs for the day when we see our Beloved Savior, and only at that point will we be satisfied. This is not our home, and here we can never be fully satisfied. So we must wait. But we can rest knowing that if we are in Christ we will be satisfied, one fine day.

So I won't be satisfied. So I feel empty. Oh, what a lovely post this is. It is, quite lovely, actually, as the Father is gently teaching his slow to learn child what His purpose is with me in this life. Through the blood of His Son, He has made me His own. Through the blood of His Son, He has declared me righteous. Through the blood of His Son, I am His child. And as His child, who is declared righteous, but is simultaneously still filthy with sin, His greatest desire for me is to become more like His perfect, spotless, Son. Alas, I'm learning that, and I will continue to be learning this throughout my entire life.