Does Peter Want Me to Stop Talking?

A quiet and gentle spirit, which in God's sight is very precious...

The words enter into my mind once again.

It's interesting how my thoughts on what the focus of this section of Scripture has shifted over time.

I used to look at this verse and be overcome with the question of whether or not physical beauty was something that a biblical woman should seek. Yet there is far more treasure to be found here. This verse speaks of something more comforting than any conclusion on physical beauty. Something that by the grace of God has been developing in my heart, and that absolutely needs to be developed further. And in the process, I remember that my God is sovereign, and that he uses all things to form me more into the image of his Son.

"Do not let your adorning be external-- the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." 1 Peter 3:3-6

Oh, how I fall short. How I fail to trust him- to rest in trusting him. And how I fail to rejoice in the fact that I can rest in trusting him. Thank God, my Father, that he has given his only Son to pay for my sin of distrust of the only trustworthy One.

This passage used to confuse me to no end. Quiet and gentle... what on earth does that mean? Does that mean I'm soft spoken and say very little? If so, I (and a lot of women I know) have fallen quite short of that. Does this mean that I need to change that about myself. If that's what this verse said, then I would submit to that, because it's the Word of God. However, I felt the need to understand at greater depth what this verse meant before I changed the way I interact with most people.

Gentle: "Meekness [or gentleness] towards God is that disposition of the spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting."

Quiet: "'tranquility arising from within,' causing no disturbance to others"

Thank you Vines and BlueLetterBible... you are much appreciated. (blueletterbible.org)

It goes so much deeper than I would have ever guessed. It comes down to trusting, to resting, in the sovereignty and the goodness of our Father.

"He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" Romans 8: 32

This is our basis for trusting our Father. This is his goodness. His entire being is for our good... his entire being! He didn't even spare his own Son! How could we not trust his goodness.

But what about his sovereignty?

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed into the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified." Romans 8:28-30

God's sovereignty- all things, he uses, for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. He foreknew us, he predestined us.

We see God's goodness overlapping here. All things work together for our good. Even the bad things, even the really bad things, even the horrible things, even the really, really, really horrible things, will be used for our good, to make us look more like the Son. No one else gets to say that; only the adopted children of God get to say, and are able to rest in the truth, that even the really really awful things will make us look more like the Son. And, people, (and by people, I mean- hey Taylor- listen up!) that is our goal!

Thus, he's given us all things needed to have a quiet and gentle spirit, that is, a spirit who is at rest with whatever he's given to us; a spirit that trusts that he is both sovereign and good in all his dealings with his children. This begins inside of you, in your spirit, but it overflows and shows itself as a woman at peace. And as a friend stated to me, woman are known as natural worriers. So isn't it lovely that God treasures a woman who isn't a worrier, and has given us a way to not be that woman. For what is the core of worrying, if not that we think someone or something is in control who is against us? That is not what the gospel says! God is so for his children that he gave his only Son. He is for those who are in Christ, he is trustworthy.

And to top it all of, this is a spirit that is very precious in the sight of God. He loves when woman have the spirit about them of deep trust in who he is, that is, sovereign and good. And we are to have this trust in all situations. For me, that means having this spirit about me as I wait for my husband and my children. For other woman, it means having this spirit as they wait for their husband to become a Christian (as this passage addresses), or their children to follow Jesus. It may mean having this spirit as a woman experiences a miscarriage (I can't even imagine). Or having this spirit as a young lady waits to hear if she's made it into her first choice of college. It looks like many different things for many different women. But the core of it is our sovereign Father, who did not even spare his own Son.