Ponderings...

As I attempt to do a wee bit of job searching for the fall of this year, I'm contemplating what it is I want to be. And, of course, if you know me at all, if you've had a conversation with me once, you know I want to be a wife and a mother. As I've probably mentioned in conversation, "My little heart desires to be a wife and a mother." And that's the truth.

I have to have some sort of career, and I don't know why I would desire anything other than that which the my Father has created me for. How the Lord has blessed me, and all women, to allow us to make that our careers. It's either that or working as a teller in a bank (or some other job, but you get the picture). And I know I would much rather be with children all day, and standing around the kitchen. Slightly stereotypical, yes? Extraordinarily exhausting? Oh, baby... I don't even begin to understand it. Worth it when I rock my sweet baby boy to sleep at night, or when my darling girl opens her Bible and I hear her say, "Daddy... why...", or when the families around us wonder how we are patient and loving to our children while still disciplining, and I get to tell the mom about the gospel and my Savior. Oh, you better believe it's worth it. My heart desires that. Why would I want another career. And if that be in America, so be it. And if it be in Germany, so be it. And if it be in some village in Africa, so be it. I can be a mother in all of these places, as I joyfully follow my husband.

But for now, I don't have a husband. And I surely do not have children. And I must pursue some other form of work. But I stop to think what my goals are, if being a wife and momma are not in my foreseeable future. And I realize all too quickly, for its never been a secret, that my goal right now is look more like Jesus and to pursue that with a fiery passion while keeping my eyes fixed steadily on the beauty of the gospel.